For the February 14th, 2024, BCA Vancouver club night, Heather Marshall, BCA Vancouver’s Speaker Watchkeeper, organized a panel of cruising couples to talk about how to stay a couple while cruising—an appropriate topic for Valentine’s Day. All BCA members have encountered solo-handed cruisers whose partners either refuse to have anything to do with cruising or occasionally fly to where the boat is. One wife said she’d join the boat “When the butter melts.” This panel had couples that had both cruised together and stayed together.
Deb Bryant and Ken Russell moderated the panel, which included Price and Gail Powell, Anne Trudel and Ken Buckley, and Stephen and Nancy Carlman. Panelists were asked to speak about these topics:
- How individuals had come to cruising sailing
- How couples made their cruising plans
- How couples shared responsibilities
- How individuals managed living in the small space of a boat and having private spaces
- How couples worked together in stressful situations
- Were there ever times when they wanted to give up cruising and go home?
One question that the panel did not have time to explicitly address was:
- What were your peak experiences while cruising?
How Individuals Came to Cruising Sailing
Price Powell had lots of experience sailing, including crossing the Pacific from Taiwan to Vancouver in 1982, when he was 27. Gail had no sailing experience when young, but was hooked after her first experience.
Ken Buckley had sailed on lakes in Ontario when he was young. Later in Vancouver, he led the family to get involved with a Cooper Boating Five-Day “Cruise and Learn” experience during the March school break. This was Anne’s first time cruising. Ken recalls, “Fortunately, what she remembers was a beautiful sunny crossing of Georgia Strait. Our daughter was less impressed with the whole plan and complained to Anne that a good March school break for her was to lounge in bed reading. Anne assured her that she could do that aboard the sailboat. Of course, we all later discovered the truth about what it can be like down below while underway.”
Like Price and Ken, Nancy had experience day-sailing on a lake. As a 12-year-old, she learned to sail on a 19’ wooden centerboard Lightning. Stephen, who grew up in London, UK, did not set foot on a sailboat until in his early 20s, when he and two other young men sailed a 25’ sailboat in the Bahamas, chasing “crabs and girls,” he says. Later, he crewed on large charter sailboats out of St Thomas.
Nancy and Stephen’s first sail together was on a lake on a borrowed sailing dinghy. Stephen insisted on cleating the main sheet, as you would do on a large boat. That was not a good idea with the gusty lake breezes, the first one of which laid the boat on its side and filled the cockpit. Nancy spent the rest of the sail attempting to bail the cockpit surreptitiously since the owner of the boat was watching them from his dock.
How Couples Made Their Cruising Plans
Each of the three couples individually discussed their cruising plans with each other and arrived at consensus about what sort of boat they wanted to cruise on, where they wanted to go, and for how long. Stephen commented that you need flexibility in your cruising plan. “You can make plans, but realize that you may need to change them.” Plans may change due to new ideas, as well as conditions at home and offshore. Price thought they would cruise on a monohull, but after Gail had experience on a catamaran, she insisted that a catamaran was the way to go. Price commented that he’d “rather sail a monohull, but live on a catamaran.” They have spent more than 90% of their time living on their docked or anchored catamaran Panache X.
Price mentioned that discussions about money were very important. “How much money will we have in the cruising kitty? Will we be able to hire help with maintenance or with unforeseen breakdowns?”
Nancy and Stephen were certain that they wanted to turn Fairwyn to port at Panama, rather than to starboard to the South Pacific. As an example of flexibility, in Costa Rica they were persuaded by some cruisers to sail to Ecuador and the Galapagos before they went through the Canal. They also thought they’d be cruising for 5 years or so, but they ended up away for 15 years.
Both the Powell’s and Ken and Anne are “doers” in the middle of their major cruises. The Powell’s catamaran Panache X is in Australia; Ken and Anne’s Naida is in the Marquesas.
Sharing Responsibilities
On board, each of the couples shared watch keeping, navigation, log keeping, and sailing. Price and Gail both cooked and worked on the engine. Gail said she changed the oil filters.
Nancy’s and Stephen’s boat responsibilities were mostly “pink and blue,” with Stephen in charge of the motor, head, and planning haul-outs; whereas Nancy looked after provisioning, cooking, and laundry. Stephen organized the painting and varnishing (continuous on a wooden boat), but Nancy helped with the sanding and cleaning.
Nancy stripping the mizzen mast.
Anne and Ken both have technical backgrounds, so were both involved in technical operations and maintenance. Other jobs were more “pink and blue.”
Living in the Small Space of a Boat
Price and Gail said their catamaran Panache X is big enough for comfortable living and for each of them to have private spaces aboard. They also have plenty of room for guests.
Nancy and Stephen say they were not concerned about living on a small cruising boat. They never even thought about it, nor did they feel the need for individual private spaces. When they left in 1999 for what turned out to be 15-year cruise on Fairwyn, they had already spent several months cruising over years on three different sailboats.
Working Together in Stressful Situations
All the couples planned as much as they could before anchoring, docking, or picking up a mooring, particularly in unfamiliar places. What is the wind doing? What is the state of the tide, and what direction is the current going? Who’s going to do what? How are we going to communicate, by radio or by hand signals? We don’t want to have to shout.
When the unexpected happens, Ken said what he and Anne do is secure Naida and then stop to think out what to do and in what order. Stephen agreed and said the important thing is to relax; things are never as bad as they look.
Price said they have not had any unexpected problems that were serious. “We had a spinnaker halyard break when we were crossing to the Marquesas, but with two additional crew aboard, were able to get the sail back onboard. I think we have avoided big problems so far because we reef early and never fly our spinnaker at night.”
Nancy and Stephen had an alternator bolt shear on Fairwyn at night, when motoring in the Gulf of Panama with almost no wind. After turning off the engine, Stephen worked on the alternator while Nancy pulled out the genoa and slowly sailed the boat back and forth. In the process of repairing the problem, Stephen burned his wrist when he touched a live wire with his metal watchstrap. (Nancy’s father was a mechanic who knew better; he annoyed her mother by refusing to wear a wristwatch.)
The only question from the audience related to how the panelists organized maintenance and repairs. Price reiterated, “We set money aside to support regular and unexpected care of the boat. We found that all marinas made access to competent repair people easy and other cruisers often had spare parts available for North American equipment.”
Stephen fitting a new key in the steering.
Over their 15-year cruise on Fairwyn, besides regular maintenance of the engine and steering, Nancy and Stephen installed solar panels in Marina del Rey, CA; had the Paragon transmission repaired in Costa Rica; replaced dinghy tubes in Panama; had stainless steel granny bars fabricated in Cartegena; had the bronze centreboard repaired in Nova Scotia; and replaced the depth sounder sensor in Antigua. They hauled the boat for bottom painting yearly and once took the spruce masts out for total refurbishment (Stephen varnished them in place every six months). The worst problem they encountered was three broken prop shafts, two in Mexico, and one in El Salvador. In all three cases, they had no difficulty having new prop shafts fabricated, but the problem was finally permanently solved when two fellow cruisers helped align the engine at anchor in El Salvador.
Were there ever times when you wanted to give up cruising and go home?
The answer to this question from all three couples was NO.
Peak Experiences
Even though the panel did not get to discuss peak experiences on Valentine’s Day, here are a few submitted after the discussion.
Interacting with Ocean Life
All the cruisers have enjoyed interacting with ocean life: swimming with sharks and dolphins in the Tuamotus, (Ken and Anne) and swimming with huge humpbacks in Tonga, (Price and Gail). Nancy and Stephen’s interactions were from onboard, including having huge grey whales, barely visible underwater shapes, cruise alongside Fairwyn off Baja California. Flying fish also landed onboard, including one hitting Stephen in the head when he was steering the boat at night in the Atlantic.
Flying fish land on deck; cutlery shows the size. (Photo by Chris Boulsbee)
Side Trips on Land
The cruisers all also enjoyed side trips by land, such as Ken and Anne to Mexico City, Price and Gail to Fiji for music and dancing and even a wedding in Nuku Hiva, and Stephen and Nancy to cities in Mediterranean countries. “Doing inland trips changes the focus of what you are doing on board and relieves the stress of being constantly together on a sailboat. I’m not a psychologist, but I think such trips are good psychologically,” says Stephen. These interactions as well as shore side experiences helped the panelists learn about new countries, their customs, landscapes, flora and fauna, and people. Price commented that he and Gail were interested in learning about the many “two-spirit” people, first among the Gula people in the San Blas Islands of Panama, and later in the Polynesian islands. They also agreed with the others on the panel that being involved and learning about local people is part of the wonderful cruising experience.
Landfall
Despite the expectation of a landfall through careful electronic planning on Fairwyn, the first sight of a destination was still a joyous occasion: LAND HO! Our favourite landfalls were: Galapagos from Ecuador; Shelburne, NS, from Cape May, NJ, in fog; Azores from Chester, NS; Canary Islands from Morocco, and; Antigua from Tenerife.
Left: Fairwyn approaches Antigua from Tenerife, Canary Islands; Right: Fairwyn sights Pico Mountain in the Azores (previous port was Chester, NS)
Cruising Community
The camaraderie of the cruising community was a peak experience for all three couples. Ken reminded us: “Cam McLean in Vancouver Fleet always points out how people you meet become lifelong friends.” Price and Gail agree that the cruising community is a bonus: “Cruisers are an interesting and ‘quirky’ bunch and can help with ideas for maintenance and repair.”
One of Nancy’s peak experiences was being part of putting together the Cruisers’ Cookbook at Marina di Ragusa, on the south coast of Sicily in 2012-13 where cruisers from 19 countries — including Iceland! — were wintering. That community also had a weekly “Captain’s Whine Night” during which skippers gathered to discuss boat problems and ask for suggestions.
Cruisers’ Cookbook representing four nationalities
The panelists were all still together as couples at the end of the evening, when they were given some spicy and sweet treats by Deb and Heather.
Photo of presenters
Top left: Price and Gail Powell; Top right: Ken Buckley and Anne Trudel; bottom: Nancy and Stephen Carlman toasting with beer cans aboard Fairwyn. Photo of Carlmans by Chris Boulsbee
Currents PDFs
Wonderful, Nancy, thank you so much for following up that sweet Valentine’s Day conversation with this article. I learned a lot that evening, and I’m glad to have this on the record in Currents.